candy stripper on the run

being cynical and self-indulging

and my children shall be named sophie and jillian. maybe molly j or holly. what bout a naruto for a boy? HAHAHA.

i need to stop making new posts after one another cause sooner or later, i'll have 300 posts in a blink of an eye and i can't view past them unless i post them all on the blog and have an archive. last but not least, i'll have to create another blog just to hold all my thoughts and believe me, i think up of nonsense even before i sleep and realize i wont remember them in the morning so i just have to leave them somewhere so that i can use them again. like toilet paper or something. word vomit, or so i would like to call them poetry, prose, phrase, creative ideas and plot triggers for potential scripts. i believe myself to carry through all obstacles, in the process, awkward or not and consider myself quite imaginative. i'm a talent for facial expressions, on screen and off, hire me someone and give me money. sheesh, damn straight(forward) am i?

now now, appreciate me before i get tired of all of you. you can claim you like my writing but where are my tags on the board and comments. but it would also be weird if you suddenly all donned attention on me like i'm the best thing that ever happened to you. (because i'm not) i'm being all contradictory and i wonder why i think of you sometimes. then when the tags do come, i revolt them. i think my writing's individual and i started it on my own. at least you can relate to them, i guess (it's okay if i see it from that point of view).

it must be the late hour that has taken its cynical effect on me. i believe it's all built up in this i-like-this-body-but-it-seems-too-womanly-for-me vessel of mine. or should i just say it does not go with my personality, the way i dress or something? i can flaunt, in fact i do sometimes, just to use it to my advantage or its full potential. just so i can be the bimbo i'm supposed to be, act blur and get away with trouble. but oh heck, my belly's still round and i cant be bothered to initiate a diet due to many many excuses my brain has made up and i just love my food. stuffing myself to the point of no return. did i tell you my face is fat too? i really ought to slim it down so that my features will show. some nice angular features instead of a double chin and fatty eyelids. my forehead's too short i suppose, no, i'm just saying for the sake of saying. AHAHAHA, well whatever.

(and when i say i started it on my own, i really do mean: i just write like that. anything that comes to my head, i write it. i rethink, reread, delete, find suitable words and bam, i press the button.) soooo i do like to think of myself as an individual and no other can interpret or comprehend but i would like to know myself as normal cause the flesh hurts when i'm just considered out of the gang or so on. you get the point. indulge me then.

if you still dont understand, it doesn't matter. cause what i really need is a chobit, skye (dont know if i'm just saying it but still;) and a good bolster. on second thought, if you didn't understand, it doesn't matter cause i'm just sprouting whatever that comes into mind first.

now to think of it, i feel like a child (when i'm talking) to skye. what i want to know, she gives. new words; vocabulary she's my dictionary. knowledge, anything interesting, paste and copy.

so if i change, so what if i do change, i wonder what will become of me, what people will think of it and how much are they going to take it in. i'll reread this post tomorrow and see if i've gone mad overnight. perhaps right now, what i need is sleep.

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re-post
the say-it-till-you-believe-it theory which i have come to believe. be it that i mindlessly say i'm bi or les or the many hearts, they all connect in some way. oh shut up head and my arms are aching. i hope my ulcers heal soon and for me to stop accidentally biting the underneaths of my lips to cause them. bleh

posted by LOU @ 4:09 AM